If my thoughts could find a direct line from my brain to cyberspace, there would probably be about a thousand posts from the last one till now. My mind has been brimming with thoughts, arguments, convictions and inspiration. Unfortunately, the writing bug hadn't bitten, and so in my mind those thoughts remained. Now I hardly know where to begin to share the last month and a half.
It is crazy, but I feel like in a lot of ways I've changed since February. I really embraced my "New You" resolution, I've really embraced what it means to be in charge of my own life and my own happiness. I can't take all the credit, though. A lot of people and events have played into the me I am right now in this moment.
The most obvious change is physical...my hair is gone...I look like an adolescent little boy. Mine isn't a story of Samson, however. I feel like the loss of my hair has empowered me rather than stripped me down. Don't get me wrong, sometimes people staring makes me uncomfortable, but I'm not questioning myself. I am 100% behind why I did it, and feeling so good about that makes me care less about my appearance. I've said, I am more self aware right now, but definitely less self conscience.
The entire experience with St. Baldricks was beyond words. Other than the miracle of childbirth, I can't think of a single experience that has touched me and changed me so much. At the risk of sounding cliche, the energy in the room (or rather, in the tent) that day was incredible. Sitting in the chair looking out at the crowd of my husband and children, parents and brothers, best friends, good friends, cyberfriends, new friends and total strangers was a million times more emotional than I ever began to imagine. I held my picture of Dylan, the amazing little guy who inspired me throughout the entire shave, and knew that my nervousness didn't begin to compare to the complete fear him and his family have faced with his cancer.
As my hair fell, so did some tears. Not for the change, though, but rather for the enlightenment I was blessed with through my fundraising and experience meeting so many wonderful people. One shavee, Drew, gave me $550 of his donations to see me reach my goal. Another shavee shared with me the story of his little brother who died of cancer, and his promise to shave his head every year till they find a cure. This was Carl's 9th year going under the clippers. Eileen, the barber who shaved me, who does it every year because she genuinely cares about the cause and the other people it matters to.
It has been strange for my children, especially my 7-year-old. She is a little embarrassed of her mama for now, but when she is old enough to understand what I did and why I did it, I know it will be a valuable lesson for her.
There is a lot more I'd like to share, but if I did it all in one blog it would be never ending, so I will leave you with my quote of the day!
“It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.” -Francis Bacon Sr.
