Cherishing the Good

Sometimes I take a moment to reflect on where things are in my life and what I can do to fix the negative and how I can get more positives. A really crappy thing occurred to me today though, for a lot of the negatives going on right now, i am completely powerless. 100% out of my control. I hate that more than I can tell you.

I hate that I can't make my mom all better, or even a little bit better. I hate that my husband's work schedule keeps him out of the house so much this summer. I was looking at pictures of my sister-in-law, Deanna, today, and hate that she is gone and that I know so many people miss her so deeply.

Is that what it means when people talk about life spiraling out of control? I wish I could freeze the good moments. I wish I could keep my kids young and sweet and safe. I wish I could forever hold onto the feeling when my husband holds me in his arms or when my kids gently kiss my cheek.

I can't control what is happening now or whatever it is life has in store for me next. I guess hate best I can do is savor those precious moments. I may not be able to freeze them, but I can cherish them and never forget the blessings in my life.

Looking for Rainbows

Through December I just kept thinking that between the constant, unnamed grey cloud and Deanna being so sick, things were going to have to get better soon. Then the new year came, and with it we said good bye to Deanna and watched as Noah grieved, and continues to grieve. But still, that was awful, so things HAD to get better, right?

Well, the answer is no. The age old saying, "things can't get any worse" is plain old wrong.

About a month ago we learned that my mother has cancer. Bladder cancer to be exact. We still aren't certain of the stage and won't be until the surgery is complete and the pathology report is in. Regardless of the stage, this whole situation is terrifying. Tomorrow she undergoes surgery. And while I am very confident that her surgeon is one of the best in his field, I am scared none the less.

I ask that you all keep her in your prayers tomorrow as she goes into surgery and as she continues though her healing process.

I am so grateful the God blessed me with the family I have. We all continue to support Noah as he heals, we lean on each other in our fears and stresses, and we are all 100% behind our mother as she begins this scary chapter of her life. I know, though, that it will be a short chapter that will leave her a stronger woman in the end!