Long time, no blog. There has been so much happening it would seem like I would have plenty to say, but sometimes there just aren't words to express the roller coaster of emotions life can bring our way. My own gray cloud hasn't blown over yet, but it has been overshadowed by the unpredictability of life.
My sister-in-law has cystic fibrosis. For those of you who may not be familiar with this disease... "Cystic fibrosis is an inherited disease that causes thick, sticky mucus to build up in the lungs and digestive tract. It is one of the most common type of chronic lung disease in children and young adults, and may result in early death." (Google Health)
My husband's brother, Charlie, died of this disease as a child, and now my younger brother's wife, Deanna, is fighting for her life. It has been a series of near misses and last ditch efforts that have kept her going. Then, two days ago, a miracle...my brother got a call that they had found a donor for her...a new set of lungs...another chance at life.
Saturday an amazing team of doctors not only renewed her chance for life, but renewed the hope of a lot of people who love Deanna and my brother. How amazing! What a Christmas miracle given to us by a family somewhere facing their own loss and grief. My heart goes out to the family of this and all donors. What a selfless act, to give other people a chance to live a normal life.
Deanna's battle isn't done. She needs to heal from her surgery and continue to get stronger. I know she can and will, though. I know that God is great and has been with her and my brother through this entire journey.
Most of us don't need new lungs, but we may need a new attitude, a new perspective, a new direction for our lives. This holiday season, let Deanna's story inspire you to give yourself that gift of hope. Find what you need in your life to make it all you want it to be. It is never too late to be happy...really, truly happy.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Breaking Point
I visited somewhere this weekend I don't like to go often...the breaking point. I've been trying so hard for months to file away all my stresses in an orderly fashion...the cars barely hanging on, the dog with the gross tail, my mother-in-law's illness, the giant grey cloud that remains nameless...the list goes on and on. Since August I've been coming here as a much needed outlet and a place to find perspective. At some point, though, enough gets to be enough.
Saturday my beautiful 4-year-old daughter cut her hair. Not a cute little trim...she cut it off. Her bangs are about an inch long and stick straight out. On the left side her hair doesn't go past her ear. She is still beautiful. It is just hair. The list of cliches to make me feel better about it goes on and on. I know all of these things are true, but it doesn't change the fact that a pair of scissors and one cute little kiddo sent me over the edge.
What do you do when you are so overwhelmed and feel like you are drowning and can't seem to find a life raft to grab on to? What do you do when you can feel the anxiety and panic in your chest, because every time you turn around there is just one more thing not going right? What do you do when you really have no clue when it will all start getting a little bit easier?
Here is what I did. First, I yelled at my girls...Elliot for cutting her hair, Presley for watching her do it. Then I cried. Then I cried some more. Then I realized that all the yelling and crying in the world weren't going to fix the list of things going wrong. I also realized that all these little hiccups, as stressful as they may be, aren't enough to break me. I grabbed the remote crontrol, went to "On Demand" and we had a family movie night complete with pizza and Monsters vs. Aliens. The kids laid on the floor with their favorite pillows and blankets, and the six of us laughed and cuddled and enjoyed being a family.
Family movie night didn't make my problems go away, but it did make them disappear for a little while. As for the chaos that is turning into my life, I guess I just need to deal with it one problem at a time, and not lose faith that it will all be better soon. And if sooner turns into later, at least I have an amazing family to see me through.
Saturday my beautiful 4-year-old daughter cut her hair. Not a cute little trim...she cut it off. Her bangs are about an inch long and stick straight out. On the left side her hair doesn't go past her ear. She is still beautiful. It is just hair. The list of cliches to make me feel better about it goes on and on. I know all of these things are true, but it doesn't change the fact that a pair of scissors and one cute little kiddo sent me over the edge.
What do you do when you are so overwhelmed and feel like you are drowning and can't seem to find a life raft to grab on to? What do you do when you can feel the anxiety and panic in your chest, because every time you turn around there is just one more thing not going right? What do you do when you really have no clue when it will all start getting a little bit easier?
Here is what I did. First, I yelled at my girls...Elliot for cutting her hair, Presley for watching her do it. Then I cried. Then I cried some more. Then I realized that all the yelling and crying in the world weren't going to fix the list of things going wrong. I also realized that all these little hiccups, as stressful as they may be, aren't enough to break me. I grabbed the remote crontrol, went to "On Demand" and we had a family movie night complete with pizza and Monsters vs. Aliens. The kids laid on the floor with their favorite pillows and blankets, and the six of us laughed and cuddled and enjoyed being a family.
Family movie night didn't make my problems go away, but it did make them disappear for a little while. As for the chaos that is turning into my life, I guess I just need to deal with it one problem at a time, and not lose faith that it will all be better soon. And if sooner turns into later, at least I have an amazing family to see me through.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Loving the Sunshine
I'm not sure about the rest of the country, but Pittsburgh has had the most beautiful fall I can ever remember. The sun has been shining, the temperature has been comfortable...it has been amazing. I've needed the sunshine. It is a good pick-me-up, and a great reminder that no matter what is happening in my life, life will continue, that there are so many wonderful things happening around me, and that God hasn't forgotten me.
And, since the shining sun has proven yet again that life goes on, I am ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and attack the challenges that face me. The thing is, in life, we can't always change what issues we need to deal with. We don't have a choice in a lot of the obstacles thrown at us. That can be a very hard reality to face, because we all want to be the ones controlling where our lives will go. What we do get to decide, though, is how we carry ourselves and how we approach the tough times.
I wish I could say I am always as positive as I strive to be...as I encourage others to be...but I'm not. Sometimes I need somebody telling ME it will all be okay. Sometimes I want to be the one to fall apart. It is alright to have the moments, as long as we don't let ourselves get lost in that self pity. It is very easy to drown in our own tears, and that is why you have to hold your head up high.
Today, I choose to not let my problems dictate the kind of day I will have. Today, I choose to not let my worries change the kind of mom I am to my awesome kids. Today, I choose to be my own sunshine.
Here is a quote to keep you looking up!
"May you never miss a rainbow or a sunset because you're looking down." Author Unknown
And, since the shining sun has proven yet again that life goes on, I am ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and attack the challenges that face me. The thing is, in life, we can't always change what issues we need to deal with. We don't have a choice in a lot of the obstacles thrown at us. That can be a very hard reality to face, because we all want to be the ones controlling where our lives will go. What we do get to decide, though, is how we carry ourselves and how we approach the tough times.
I wish I could say I am always as positive as I strive to be...as I encourage others to be...but I'm not. Sometimes I need somebody telling ME it will all be okay. Sometimes I want to be the one to fall apart. It is alright to have the moments, as long as we don't let ourselves get lost in that self pity. It is very easy to drown in our own tears, and that is why you have to hold your head up high.
Today, I choose to not let my problems dictate the kind of day I will have. Today, I choose to not let my worries change the kind of mom I am to my awesome kids. Today, I choose to be my own sunshine.
Here is a quote to keep you looking up!
"May you never miss a rainbow or a sunset because you're looking down." Author Unknown
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A Knock at the Door
Thanksgiving is around the corner, and I guess a lot of people might be expecting a "what I am thankful for" sort of post. I hate to disappoint, but that isn't exactly where I foresee this going. Not that I am not thankful for the many blessings in my life. I am extremely grateful, but that is something I celebrate every day...not just in November.
I wish life was full of only good things, good times and good people. The reality is the world is full of a lot of crappy stuff too. Sometimes it seems like the crap is more powerful than those blessings, and that is when we really need to reflect on what we are thankful for in our lives. It can be so easy to lose sight of the good when the bad is banging down the door.
Right now, there are some pretty loud knocks in my entrance way, and I'm working very hard to keep that negativity out. It isn't always as simple as dead bolting the lock, though. Sometimes we need everybody we love to come and stand against that door. Sometimes it takes everybody we have in our corner working together to stop the bad stuff from over running our lives.
I don't really have a whole lot more to add right now. Sometime having TOO much on your mind and heart makes it hard to say anything at all. Just never lose sight of the people who are in your corner, never lose sight of who will stand against that door with you. In the end, it is only the people in our lives who truly matter.
I wish life was full of only good things, good times and good people. The reality is the world is full of a lot of crappy stuff too. Sometimes it seems like the crap is more powerful than those blessings, and that is when we really need to reflect on what we are thankful for in our lives. It can be so easy to lose sight of the good when the bad is banging down the door.
Right now, there are some pretty loud knocks in my entrance way, and I'm working very hard to keep that negativity out. It isn't always as simple as dead bolting the lock, though. Sometimes we need everybody we love to come and stand against that door. Sometimes it takes everybody we have in our corner working together to stop the bad stuff from over running our lives.
I don't really have a whole lot more to add right now. Sometime having TOO much on your mind and heart makes it hard to say anything at all. Just never lose sight of the people who are in your corner, never lose sight of who will stand against that door with you. In the end, it is only the people in our lives who truly matter.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
That Which Make Us Who We Are
Per my friend Melissa's request I was preparing to write my little positive blog for the day. After finding my 2-year-old painting the bathroom with green nail polish I thought for sure I would write about the challenges of parenthood. I went down to my office to find my Mr. Roger's book for the quote I knew would fit, when I came across my journal from my sophomore year in college (which needs to be thrown into a bonfire VERY soon).
Wow. I think that about sums it all up. I can't believe how grown up I thought I was at the time, and reading it now I can see how much growing I had yet to do. Let me just thank and apologize to everybody who put up with me back then. Seriously. Just reading all the boys' names I was crushing on at one time is enough to make a person's head spin.
Twelve years have come and gone since my last entry in that journal and Hans and Paul and Jake are the names from the past. It is Mom, Dad, Karen, Rachel, Josh, Noah, Micah and Erin...the friends and family in that journal that are still beside me in my life that make it hard to throw that book away. Most of my journal entries from that time about my family involve me being mad or fights that we had. It isn't that they are happy, shiny memories. In fact, a lot of my entries about my best friend Erin at that time are during a rough patch in our friendship.
It is a great reminder that relationships don't have to be perfect to be perfect for us. This is true of all relationships in our lives. I love my husband and think we have a great marriage, but I'll be the first to admit our relationship is not without its tough times. We get mad...we fight...but we always find a way to work through it. I love my children unconditionally and whole heartedly, but even those relationships have room to grow and improve. Gosh, even my relationship with myself has a long way to go, and I've been working on that for 31 years!!!!
Looking back now, I know all those fights with my parents and siblings and best friend were just blocks leading us down the road to the relationships we have now. I talk to my parents every day, I talk to at least one of my siblings every day and Erin and I are as close now as we ever were. I am so grateful that I had the chance to day to look back at those relationships as they were then, because it make me even more grateful for the amazing people in my life today.
I also found the book I wrote quotes that I like in, so it is only appropriate that the perfect one is right there on the first page.
"We like someone because. We love someone although." Henry DeMontherlant
Wow. I think that about sums it all up. I can't believe how grown up I thought I was at the time, and reading it now I can see how much growing I had yet to do. Let me just thank and apologize to everybody who put up with me back then. Seriously. Just reading all the boys' names I was crushing on at one time is enough to make a person's head spin.
Twelve years have come and gone since my last entry in that journal and Hans and Paul and Jake are the names from the past. It is Mom, Dad, Karen, Rachel, Josh, Noah, Micah and Erin...the friends and family in that journal that are still beside me in my life that make it hard to throw that book away. Most of my journal entries from that time about my family involve me being mad or fights that we had. It isn't that they are happy, shiny memories. In fact, a lot of my entries about my best friend Erin at that time are during a rough patch in our friendship.
It is a great reminder that relationships don't have to be perfect to be perfect for us. This is true of all relationships in our lives. I love my husband and think we have a great marriage, but I'll be the first to admit our relationship is not without its tough times. We get mad...we fight...but we always find a way to work through it. I love my children unconditionally and whole heartedly, but even those relationships have room to grow and improve. Gosh, even my relationship with myself has a long way to go, and I've been working on that for 31 years!!!!
Looking back now, I know all those fights with my parents and siblings and best friend were just blocks leading us down the road to the relationships we have now. I talk to my parents every day, I talk to at least one of my siblings every day and Erin and I are as close now as we ever were. I am so grateful that I had the chance to day to look back at those relationships as they were then, because it make me even more grateful for the amazing people in my life today.
I also found the book I wrote quotes that I like in, so it is only appropriate that the perfect one is right there on the first page.
"We like someone because. We love someone although." Henry DeMontherlant
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Puppies and Rainbows
I'm having a less than stellar day and really feel like whining, complaining and asking for pity as I bask in my misery. However, that would be the complete opposite of the mission behind my blog, so I'm sitting here hoping the screen and keyboard will inspire some puppies and rainbows from me. Waiting...waiting...
Okay, so it isn't magically happening for me. Maybe I need to try another approach to getting out of my slump. Maybe I need to find my own happiness on days that it isn't so easy. When I'm hungry I fix a grilled cheese and make myself not hungry. When I am sick I take medicine and make myself feel better. So why should feeling down be any different. I'm not magically full or magically cured, so why would I be magically happy?
I've battled depression for years. This is a concept my husband just doesn't get. He can't see the difference between being depressed and being unhappy. He always asks what I have to be so unhappy about. The reality is I am very happy in my life, very satisfied. I have four beautiful children, and a husband who I may not always see eye to eye with, but who I love very much and loves me in return.
I guess happiness is sort of like hunger. Just because you have food in the kitchen doesn't mean you don't get hungry. Just having it isn't enough. It is all what you do with it. First, you need to know you are hungry, figure out what you want, and then eat. Sometimes eating once isn't enough and you have to go back for more.
Just because there are great people and things in your life doesn't mean your life is all happiness all the time. It is what we do with our lives, it is how we treat the great people in it, and how aware we are of what we need...what we REALLY need to be happy. If we skip a meal, despite the food being right there in the fridge, we might get grumpy and pretty darn hungry. Likewise, if we don't take the time to enjoy the things in our lives that bring us that inner peace and joy, our souls will hunger for some happiness.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess what I've gotten out of this rambling is that being happy with your life and where you are in your life doesn't mean you have to be happy all the time. (Does that even make sense?) Let me try that again...Even the happiest person can have blah days...those days where Ben and Jerry and a spoon are the only companions you feel like.
Hmmm...still no magical puppies and rainbows. Guess I'll have to resort to my standby!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Judgement Day
I've slowly been reading the book, The Shack. It is a great book, but I like it in small doses because I need time to stop and reflect on what I've read. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the premise is a man named Mack gets to spend a weekend in a cabin with God in an effort to come to terms with a terrible loss in his life. The chapter I read today was about the judgement we pass on ourselves, others and even on God.
This really got me thinking about myself and the judgements I make and how I justify doing this. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around throwing rocks at people I don't feel are up to my standards. I know I am guilty of throwing the proverbial first stone before, though. A mom who seems neglectful, a wife having an affair, a husband who is controlling...why do I feel it is my place to judge these people. It makes me wonder what judgements people make about me?
I was at the tailor today to have alterations done on my daughter's dress. The tailor asked how many kids I have and I told him four, to which he replied, "You're too young to have that many kids." It wasn't meant as a compliment, or at least that isn't the way it seemed to me. To me it felt like a judgement. In his defense, I do look younger than I am. (If you disagree with my last statement, keep it to yourself!!!)
On Saturday I had a flat tire and was late for a soccer game. I had all four kids in the van and my husband was out of town. When my daughter asked me for the umpteenth time how I was going to fix it, I snapped and yelled at her to sit down and don't talk till I tell her she could. No, I'm not proud of it and I apologized. At the same time I was yelling, my neighbor's friend was getting out of his car and looked at me like I had just beat my little one. He doesn't know me, and how easy it is to pass judgement based on that one impression. To him I probably looked like a clueless mom who doesn't appreciate the blessing my kids are. In reality, I like to believe I am a pretty good mom, and most of the time pretty patient. (Once again folks, if you disagree...well, you know the drill.)
I'm not perfect, and know that while it is easy to sit at a keyboard and say I am cured from one chapter in one book and I'm never going to judge anyone again, I know that isn't the reality. I just hope to be more aware of unfair judgement I may pass on others, and be forgiving of those who seem to judge me.
Here is a great quote I found that really got me thinking!!!
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa
This really got me thinking about myself and the judgements I make and how I justify doing this. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around throwing rocks at people I don't feel are up to my standards. I know I am guilty of throwing the proverbial first stone before, though. A mom who seems neglectful, a wife having an affair, a husband who is controlling...why do I feel it is my place to judge these people. It makes me wonder what judgements people make about me?
I was at the tailor today to have alterations done on my daughter's dress. The tailor asked how many kids I have and I told him four, to which he replied, "You're too young to have that many kids." It wasn't meant as a compliment, or at least that isn't the way it seemed to me. To me it felt like a judgement. In his defense, I do look younger than I am. (If you disagree with my last statement, keep it to yourself!!!)
On Saturday I had a flat tire and was late for a soccer game. I had all four kids in the van and my husband was out of town. When my daughter asked me for the umpteenth time how I was going to fix it, I snapped and yelled at her to sit down and don't talk till I tell her she could. No, I'm not proud of it and I apologized. At the same time I was yelling, my neighbor's friend was getting out of his car and looked at me like I had just beat my little one. He doesn't know me, and how easy it is to pass judgement based on that one impression. To him I probably looked like a clueless mom who doesn't appreciate the blessing my kids are. In reality, I like to believe I am a pretty good mom, and most of the time pretty patient. (Once again folks, if you disagree...well, you know the drill.)
I'm not perfect, and know that while it is easy to sit at a keyboard and say I am cured from one chapter in one book and I'm never going to judge anyone again, I know that isn't the reality. I just hope to be more aware of unfair judgement I may pass on others, and be forgiving of those who seem to judge me.
Here is a great quote I found that really got me thinking!!!
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Masks
Halloween just came and went, leaving a massive amount of candy calling to me from the kitchen cabinet. I love looking at all of the cute costumes, all the creative ones, and even the scary ones. It is fun that one day a year we can dress up and be somebody different than who we have to be in our every day lives.
The Obama, and Nixon and Scream masks aren't the only type of masks I've been seeing lately, though. More and more I'm realizing just how many people around me where one type of mask or another to hide who they are, how they are feeling, or what their real motivations are.
There are the nasty masks...the people who pose as your friends...the people who embed themselves in your life only to betray and disappoint you. How sad for these people that they are so inadequate in who they really are that they live their lives as a charade. Unfortunately for them, the little game of charades doesn't last forever, and eventually their true colors show through. For people hurt by this type (as I have been in my life) try to hold your head high and know that the hurt WILL go away. The people in your life who are true, who always care, aren't going anywhere. These miserable people will someday answer for their actions...maybe not today...maybe not tomorrow...maybe not until we have moved way on in our lives and they are no longer part of it, but that day will come.
Then there are the masks we wear to protect ourselves. Acting tough, reacting with anger, not letting ourselves cry. I think for those who wear this one, it is important to know you don't have to. There are people in your life with a shoulder waiting for you to cry on. Vent, yell, get mad, get real. Because the real people in your life love you for exactly who you are, for the real you.
I think it can be hard in life to be ourselves and let our guard down. That is why it is so important to recognize the people in your life who show themselves, their TRUE selves, and stand by you no matter what. I have been very blessed by having these people in my lives, in my husband, my parents, my siblings and a couple of really great friends. They are sort of like that person that walks in front of you at a haunted house. The one whose back you dig your face into when Freddy Kruger, or Jason, or Michael Meyers jumps out from around the corner. Truth be told, those aren't the scariest masks in life, and thank God we have people to walk us through the house of horrors life can sometimes be.
The Obama, and Nixon and Scream masks aren't the only type of masks I've been seeing lately, though. More and more I'm realizing just how many people around me where one type of mask or another to hide who they are, how they are feeling, or what their real motivations are.
There are the nasty masks...the people who pose as your friends...the people who embed themselves in your life only to betray and disappoint you. How sad for these people that they are so inadequate in who they really are that they live their lives as a charade. Unfortunately for them, the little game of charades doesn't last forever, and eventually their true colors show through. For people hurt by this type (as I have been in my life) try to hold your head high and know that the hurt WILL go away. The people in your life who are true, who always care, aren't going anywhere. These miserable people will someday answer for their actions...maybe not today...maybe not tomorrow...maybe not until we have moved way on in our lives and they are no longer part of it, but that day will come.
Then there are the masks we wear to protect ourselves. Acting tough, reacting with anger, not letting ourselves cry. I think for those who wear this one, it is important to know you don't have to. There are people in your life with a shoulder waiting for you to cry on. Vent, yell, get mad, get real. Because the real people in your life love you for exactly who you are, for the real you.
I think it can be hard in life to be ourselves and let our guard down. That is why it is so important to recognize the people in your life who show themselves, their TRUE selves, and stand by you no matter what. I have been very blessed by having these people in my lives, in my husband, my parents, my siblings and a couple of really great friends. They are sort of like that person that walks in front of you at a haunted house. The one whose back you dig your face into when Freddy Kruger, or Jason, or Michael Meyers jumps out from around the corner. Truth be told, those aren't the scariest masks in life, and thank God we have people to walk us through the house of horrors life can sometimes be.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Autumn Remembrance
I love autumn. I love the beautiful colors that paint the Pennsylvania hillsides. I can't get enough of the smell of the leaves, either. I know...I'm odd. Once upon a time I was a cross country runner and we were a fall sport. That is probably why I come down with an overwhelming urge to run all September and October long. I love making soup and stew and grilled cheese...all those delicious comfort foods that taste a little bit better as the temperature starts to drop this time of year.
As much as I love fall, it is also a sad time of year for me. Last year my family lost three members, my grandfather in September, my aunt in October and my uncle in November. The October before last we lost my other uncle to his battle with cancer. I haven't figured out when you stop missing somebody so much that it hurts.
This past weekend the hospice group that helped care for my aunt and uncle in their final days held a memorial for the patients lost over the last year. It was so nice to hear their names read aloud. That may seem strange, but my aunt and uncle's only child died twenty years ago. They didn't have any immediate family. It was so nice to have them recognized...to have somebody else acknowledge that they did exist and they did matter.
I know a lot of us have lost people close to us...in fact I don't know many people who haven't lost somebody they love. If you would like to leave a comment and share a memory of somebody still in your heart, or just share their name, it would be nice to recognize and celebrate these loved ones together. I think sometimes there is comfort in knowing we don't mourn our loved ones alone.
My grandmother had this poem on a small picture that hung in her kitchen. I always found a little bit of peace in it.
I cannot say, and will not say
That she is dead. She is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you-oh, you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of there as the love of here.
Think of her still as the same. I say,
She is not dead- she is just away.
As much as I love fall, it is also a sad time of year for me. Last year my family lost three members, my grandfather in September, my aunt in October and my uncle in November. The October before last we lost my other uncle to his battle with cancer. I haven't figured out when you stop missing somebody so much that it hurts.
This past weekend the hospice group that helped care for my aunt and uncle in their final days held a memorial for the patients lost over the last year. It was so nice to hear their names read aloud. That may seem strange, but my aunt and uncle's only child died twenty years ago. They didn't have any immediate family. It was so nice to have them recognized...to have somebody else acknowledge that they did exist and they did matter.
I know a lot of us have lost people close to us...in fact I don't know many people who haven't lost somebody they love. If you would like to leave a comment and share a memory of somebody still in your heart, or just share their name, it would be nice to recognize and celebrate these loved ones together. I think sometimes there is comfort in knowing we don't mourn our loved ones alone.
My grandmother had this poem on a small picture that hung in her kitchen. I always found a little bit of peace in it.
I cannot say, and will not say
That she is dead. She is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you-oh, you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of there as the love of here.
Think of her still as the same. I say,
She is not dead- she is just away.
Friday, October 23, 2009
My Personal Perfect Storm
I hate to blame anyone else for my current state of frustration, but it is so much easier than blaming myself. Problem number one is I know I am slightly sensitive. Okay...my family can stop rolling their eyes now...I am very sensitive. I always have been and I'm guessing I always will be. Problem number two is I've always needed validation from other people. I HATE that about myself. I really do and I've tried so hard to change it, but low and behold, I'm 31 and still need that "good job kiddo" I needed when I was five.
The two problems combine to create the perfect storm, I don't get the validation I need and I, in my oversensitive state of mind, assume the worst. Or, God forbid, somebody say something less than positive and I jump on the defensive...ready to go into battle...ready to dual till the death. Okay, now I'm exaggerating, but I think you get the idea.
So now that I've put my photography out there in its very own blog, summercreationsphotography.blogspot.com, I sort of feel like I'm walking downtown in the middle of the road butt naked. This is not a cheap attempt for praise. I just feel anxious, nervous and more oversensitive than normal. Although I felt very much the same when I started this blog. What is it about sharing ourselves that makes us SO vulnerable. I've done so much in my life to be proud of. I have four beautiful children, a great marriage, and I believe I live my life in the best possible way. And yet, what? Why do I need anybody else to validate me when I've done so much I'm already proud of?
I know I'm not going to magically change and not care what other people think, even though I sometimes pretend I don't. I plan to continue working on my own outlook on things. I hope as I continue to write and take pictures I will continue to grow in my self confidence. I would rather hope for this personal growth than to stop sharing, to stop putting myself out there, to stop inviting you in.
I'm going to leave you with one of my all time favorite quotes. I hope you will remember it if you ever have your own perfect storm of insecurity and sensitivity.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The two problems combine to create the perfect storm, I don't get the validation I need and I, in my oversensitive state of mind, assume the worst. Or, God forbid, somebody say something less than positive and I jump on the defensive...ready to go into battle...ready to dual till the death. Okay, now I'm exaggerating, but I think you get the idea.
So now that I've put my photography out there in its very own blog, summercreationsphotography.blogspot.com, I sort of feel like I'm walking downtown in the middle of the road butt naked. This is not a cheap attempt for praise. I just feel anxious, nervous and more oversensitive than normal. Although I felt very much the same when I started this blog. What is it about sharing ourselves that makes us SO vulnerable. I've done so much in my life to be proud of. I have four beautiful children, a great marriage, and I believe I live my life in the best possible way. And yet, what? Why do I need anybody else to validate me when I've done so much I'm already proud of?
I know I'm not going to magically change and not care what other people think, even though I sometimes pretend I don't. I plan to continue working on my own outlook on things. I hope as I continue to write and take pictures I will continue to grow in my self confidence. I would rather hope for this personal growth than to stop sharing, to stop putting myself out there, to stop inviting you in.
I'm going to leave you with one of my all time favorite quotes. I hope you will remember it if you ever have your own perfect storm of insecurity and sensitivity.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Little Things Make the Big Difference
I'm stressed multiplied by 10. I should not be sitting here pecking away at the keyboard. My house is a disaster, the dirty laundry pile is overflowing up the stairs and my mother-in-law is coming for a visit tomorrow. Needless to say, I will be scrambling to get this house in order in time. (I can read your mind, Roberta, but yes, I do plan on cleaning for you coming so please don't tell me not to bother on your behalf!)
As overwhelmed as I am, I have found a bit of relief this morning. You will probably think I'm crazy, but my happiness is steaming in the mug sitting next to me. Coffee. Not just any coffee, Maxwell House Lite with two sugars and...here it is...peppermint mocha creamer. Oh it is SO good. It is also the inspiration for today's post. It really got me thinking how the little things can make an otherwise chaotic world feel doable.
Sometimes when the people around us do little things, it is a huge reminder that somebody cares. A noontime phone call from your spouse to see how your day is going...it only takes a few minutes, but how nice to know somebody is thinking about you. An unexpected card...a plate of cookies...a bottle of wine. There are so many little things we can do to brighten some body's day.
One of my favorite pick-me-ups is the pictures my children color for me. They LOVE to draw pictures and write me notes. They may not be Picasso, but when I look at their artwork I don't need to see perfection, I see love. Inside the lines, outside the lines, misspelled words...I love it no matter what! I don't think this is true of just my kids' artwork. People don't care if you are perfect as long as they know you care.
I have a homework assignment that I hope you will all take the time to think about and do. What little thing can you do for somebody to make a big difference in their day? We don't always get to see the fruit of our labor, but that isn't why we do it anyway!
I thought this was a great quote to keep in mind as you think about what you can do for somebody in your life!
"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." ~ Kahlil Gibran
As overwhelmed as I am, I have found a bit of relief this morning. You will probably think I'm crazy, but my happiness is steaming in the mug sitting next to me. Coffee. Not just any coffee, Maxwell House Lite with two sugars and...here it is...peppermint mocha creamer. Oh it is SO good. It is also the inspiration for today's post. It really got me thinking how the little things can make an otherwise chaotic world feel doable.
Sometimes when the people around us do little things, it is a huge reminder that somebody cares. A noontime phone call from your spouse to see how your day is going...it only takes a few minutes, but how nice to know somebody is thinking about you. An unexpected card...a plate of cookies...a bottle of wine. There are so many little things we can do to brighten some body's day.
One of my favorite pick-me-ups is the pictures my children color for me. They LOVE to draw pictures and write me notes. They may not be Picasso, but when I look at their artwork I don't need to see perfection, I see love. Inside the lines, outside the lines, misspelled words...I love it no matter what! I don't think this is true of just my kids' artwork. People don't care if you are perfect as long as they know you care.
I have a homework assignment that I hope you will all take the time to think about and do. What little thing can you do for somebody to make a big difference in their day? We don't always get to see the fruit of our labor, but that isn't why we do it anyway!
I thought this was a great quote to keep in mind as you think about what you can do for somebody in your life!
"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." ~ Kahlil Gibran
Monday, October 19, 2009
Couch Cushions, Blankets and Lots of Love
Growing up I lived in a really great neighborhood. Next to our house was a side walk that led to path that led to an alleyway that led me right to my friend Kelly's house. A bunch of us would meet there and play kick the can or go a few doors down for a game of knockout. It was great.
One of my all time favorite things to do at Kelly's house, though, was to build a fort. Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson were so great with us tearing apart their game room for the purpose of those awesome childhood forts of couch cushions and blankets. Of course, I didn't appreciate it at the time, but now as a mom who is constantly reconstructing my own couch after the kids build one, I get what a pain it can be.
As a child, anything was possible in the security of that fort. I could be a princess in a castle waiting to be saved, I could the captain of a ship, steering my vessel through choppy water...the possibilities were endless. Watching my own children play and create, I see how valuable the days of carelessness and limitless possibilities are. Someday, they'll know that even the most beautiful princesses don't get to happily ever after without a lot of heartache along the way. Someday they'll realize couch cushions and blankets aren't an unpenetratable fortress, that the problems of life find their way in.
This is my hope, though. I hope that Joe and I are able to teach them that heartache will happen, but broken hearts can be mended. I hope they know that none of life's problems are bigger than their parents love for them. I hope they know that they might not get to be a princess, but they can be a doctor, or a meteorologist, or a mom or a teacher or whatever they set their minds to.
And I want them to remember, even when they are 31 and are frustrated as they put the cushions back on the couch for the umpteenth time, that while those living room forts can't keep those problem of life out, they can hold SOOOO much love in. Every once in a while, I think we all need to crawl into a fort and find that child that still lives within us!!!
One of my all time favorite things to do at Kelly's house, though, was to build a fort. Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson were so great with us tearing apart their game room for the purpose of those awesome childhood forts of couch cushions and blankets. Of course, I didn't appreciate it at the time, but now as a mom who is constantly reconstructing my own couch after the kids build one, I get what a pain it can be.
As a child, anything was possible in the security of that fort. I could be a princess in a castle waiting to be saved, I could the captain of a ship, steering my vessel through choppy water...the possibilities were endless. Watching my own children play and create, I see how valuable the days of carelessness and limitless possibilities are. Someday, they'll know that even the most beautiful princesses don't get to happily ever after without a lot of heartache along the way. Someday they'll realize couch cushions and blankets aren't an unpenetratable fortress, that the problems of life find their way in.
This is my hope, though. I hope that Joe and I are able to teach them that heartache will happen, but broken hearts can be mended. I hope they know that none of life's problems are bigger than their parents love for them. I hope they know that they might not get to be a princess, but they can be a doctor, or a meteorologist, or a mom or a teacher or whatever they set their minds to.
And I want them to remember, even when they are 31 and are frustrated as they put the cushions back on the couch for the umpteenth time, that while those living room forts can't keep those problem of life out, they can hold SOOOO much love in. Every once in a while, I think we all need to crawl into a fort and find that child that still lives within us!!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Quicker Picker Upper
Breath in...now out.
Let's see if I can collect my thoughts and emotions long enough to write a long overdue post! I wish I could report everything has been so wonderful that I haven't needed to write and find my "ah ha moments" on here, but sadly I have just been crazy busy and uninspired.
I took a blow yesterday with my original issue that brought me here to share and seek some sunshine, and haven't been able to shake that gray cloud that seems to be hovering above me since. No need for concerned emails and phone calls...I'm fine and will continue to be fine because I haven't lost sight of the blessings in my life. Being fine, though, doesn't mean I can't have moments of self pity and frustration.
We all know the way it goes, though. You feel down about one thing and everything else just starts going wrong. You get stuck behind a dump truck while rushing to pick your daughter up from preschool. (Sorry Ellsie Bells) Your 2-year-old finds your wallet and dumps it, leaving you scrambling to gather up the change before the baby eats it. (I made it just in time to pull the quarter from his little mouth) The dog runs in before you have time to clean off her mud covered paws, leaving wonderful little prints all through the kitchen.
And then, the pièce de résistance, I open the fridge to get out the milk to finish the macaroni and cheese for the three kids in the next room screaming for food like they had NEVER eaten, only for the 2-quart pitcher of Kool Aid to fall, soaking my jeans and sending a tidal wave of purple sweetness across the tile floor. In case the mess wasn't enough, the kiddies came running into the kitchen to see why mommy was screaming, stepping in the mess and spreading it further.
Back to breath in...now out.
I actually remained pretty calm, returned the kids to the family room and flipped on Ratatouille to distract them. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and began to soak it up, rushing to the grape flavored river about to travel under the fridge. As I tore square after square and watched as it soaked up my spill, I began to fantasize about mega paper towels that can soak up life's problems. Sure, these little squares are great for Kool-Aid and milk, but imagine such a simple fix for those curve balls life throws our way that we can't simply wipe away.
I guess in some way we do have that. It just isn't packaged and sold at Giant Eagle or Krogers. I guess when we have those gray clouds we need to look to the people in our lives to be our sunshine. We have to let the hugs that cover us from our kids, or spouses, or friends absorb our hurt and frustration. No, our problems won't just go away when we embrace the people we love, but sometime it makes the hurt hurt a little bit less, it makes the sadness a little easier to bare, and it reminds us that while love doesn't cure what ails us, it can carry us through till we're all better.
Now to make more Kool-aid and empty the trash can full of soaked paper towels. Thank you, Bounty!!!
Let's see if I can collect my thoughts and emotions long enough to write a long overdue post! I wish I could report everything has been so wonderful that I haven't needed to write and find my "ah ha moments" on here, but sadly I have just been crazy busy and uninspired.
I took a blow yesterday with my original issue that brought me here to share and seek some sunshine, and haven't been able to shake that gray cloud that seems to be hovering above me since. No need for concerned emails and phone calls...I'm fine and will continue to be fine because I haven't lost sight of the blessings in my life. Being fine, though, doesn't mean I can't have moments of self pity and frustration.
We all know the way it goes, though. You feel down about one thing and everything else just starts going wrong. You get stuck behind a dump truck while rushing to pick your daughter up from preschool. (Sorry Ellsie Bells) Your 2-year-old finds your wallet and dumps it, leaving you scrambling to gather up the change before the baby eats it. (I made it just in time to pull the quarter from his little mouth) The dog runs in before you have time to clean off her mud covered paws, leaving wonderful little prints all through the kitchen.
And then, the pièce de résistance, I open the fridge to get out the milk to finish the macaroni and cheese for the three kids in the next room screaming for food like they had NEVER eaten, only for the 2-quart pitcher of Kool Aid to fall, soaking my jeans and sending a tidal wave of purple sweetness across the tile floor. In case the mess wasn't enough, the kiddies came running into the kitchen to see why mommy was screaming, stepping in the mess and spreading it further.
Back to breath in...now out.
I actually remained pretty calm, returned the kids to the family room and flipped on Ratatouille to distract them. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and began to soak it up, rushing to the grape flavored river about to travel under the fridge. As I tore square after square and watched as it soaked up my spill, I began to fantasize about mega paper towels that can soak up life's problems. Sure, these little squares are great for Kool-Aid and milk, but imagine such a simple fix for those curve balls life throws our way that we can't simply wipe away.
I guess in some way we do have that. It just isn't packaged and sold at Giant Eagle or Krogers. I guess when we have those gray clouds we need to look to the people in our lives to be our sunshine. We have to let the hugs that cover us from our kids, or spouses, or friends absorb our hurt and frustration. No, our problems won't just go away when we embrace the people we love, but sometime it makes the hurt hurt a little bit less, it makes the sadness a little easier to bare, and it reminds us that while love doesn't cure what ails us, it can carry us through till we're all better.
Now to make more Kool-aid and empty the trash can full of soaked paper towels. Thank you, Bounty!!!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Choosing My Attitude
I'm going to admit as I start this entry, I have a selfish motivation behind it. I'm having a crappy morning. A REALLY crappy morning. My Prince Charming was less than charming this morning (although he'd probably say the same about me), we missed the school bus, I had to take the kids out in the rain to drop Elliot off at school, Nolan fell in a giant puddle...ugh! It has been one thing after another. Anyway, I'm hoping by the time I'm done typing this, I'll find a little peace and perspective.
Perspective. I think it is something we all need to look for from time to time. I don't mean we shouldn't get to have bad days or vent about our kid having a cough. We shouldn't DWELL on it though. So I had a bad morning. Too bad, Sara-Summer. GET OVER IT! There is still plenty of time for me to turn this day around.
We all get to make choices about how we are going to look at things and what we are going to do about those bumps in our day that can send us into a tailspin if we let them. I worked at Build-a-Bear on and off for a few years. While I was there we practiced something called the FISH! Philosophy. It is meant for the workplace, but I wonder how we could improve our roles as spouses and parents and even our own moods if we embraced it in everything we do.
The first of the four principles is Be There. This means being emotionally available for the people in your life. Think about how much we could show people we care and respect them by really listening and being there. Play is the idea of being creative in everything you do to really enjoy life and help those around you enjoy it! Make Their Day is about taking the time to do something extra for somebody, not for a reward or something in return, but just for the sake of showing them they matter. Finally, Choose Your Attitude. This is a good one for me right now. I'm going to cut and paste right from the website for this, "Choose Your Attitude means taking responsibility for how you respond to what life throws at you. Once you are aware that your choice impacts everyone around you, you can ask yourself, 'Is my attitude helping my team or my customers? Is it helping me to be the person I want to be?'"
As I go on with my day, I'm going to try to embrace the FISH! Philosophy. I think if we all tried to live like this the world (and my household) would be a much happier place.
Perspective. I think it is something we all need to look for from time to time. I don't mean we shouldn't get to have bad days or vent about our kid having a cough. We shouldn't DWELL on it though. So I had a bad morning. Too bad, Sara-Summer. GET OVER IT! There is still plenty of time for me to turn this day around.
We all get to make choices about how we are going to look at things and what we are going to do about those bumps in our day that can send us into a tailspin if we let them. I worked at Build-a-Bear on and off for a few years. While I was there we practiced something called the FISH! Philosophy. It is meant for the workplace, but I wonder how we could improve our roles as spouses and parents and even our own moods if we embraced it in everything we do.
The first of the four principles is Be There. This means being emotionally available for the people in your life. Think about how much we could show people we care and respect them by really listening and being there. Play is the idea of being creative in everything you do to really enjoy life and help those around you enjoy it! Make Their Day is about taking the time to do something extra for somebody, not for a reward or something in return, but just for the sake of showing them they matter. Finally, Choose Your Attitude. This is a good one for me right now. I'm going to cut and paste right from the website for this, "Choose Your Attitude means taking responsibility for how you respond to what life throws at you. Once you are aware that your choice impacts everyone around you, you can ask yourself, 'Is my attitude helping my team or my customers? Is it helping me to be the person I want to be?'"
As I go on with my day, I'm going to try to embrace the FISH! Philosophy. I think if we all tried to live like this the world (and my household) would be a much happier place.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Remembering Our Blessings
It was without a doubt a fall morning in Pittsburgh. The sky was gray, there were off and on showers, and thousands of people were anxiously awaiting the start of the Great Race. The Great Race is a 10k, or 6.2 mile run through Pittsburgh, and is one of Pittsburgh great traditions. On top of a Pittsburgh tradition, it is a family tradition. I ran my first Great race with my dad when I was 6-years-old, and yesterday my 6-year-old daughter ran it with my dad and I.
The plan was for her to run as much as she could and we would walk when she needed. Was I surprised when that walk break never came. I was so proud of her and knew how blessed I was to be sharing that moment not just with my daughter, but with my father, too.
Not that I shouldn't be proud of her, but last night I had a bit of a reminder that I shouldn't just be proud, I should be grateful for what a gift it is that she was able to be there with me. Yesterday a spaghetti dinner was held to raise money for a local family who is going through something nobody should have to face. Both of their sons, ages 5 and 2, have a rare genetic disorder called Late Infantile Batten Disease. This disease robs children of their physical abilities as well as their vision and causes heartbreaking debilitation. Life expectancy can be anywhere from 8-12 years of age.
My husband used to play baseball with their father, Chris. When the dads would play ball, our oldest daughter would run around and play with their older son, Drew. Drew can no longer walk. I know it sounds silly, but I felt guilty yesterday knowing that Presley had run the Great Race and here was this BEAUTIFUL little boy in a wheel chair. It doesn't make much sense. Their younger son hasn't started showing symptoms yet, but the tests indicated that eventually he will.
I've said this in the past, and I hope you guys will take this with you today. When you look at your child, or niece, or nephew or whatever special child is in your life, don't ask WHY you are so blessed, ask how you can help people who may be facing challenges with their own children. If you can help financially, great. If you help by adding this family to your prayers at dinner time or bedtime, great. Here is a link to the website. Please take some time to read about this family and the challenging road that lays ahead of them. http://www.gradysallstars.com/
The plan was for her to run as much as she could and we would walk when she needed. Was I surprised when that walk break never came. I was so proud of her and knew how blessed I was to be sharing that moment not just with my daughter, but with my father, too.
Not that I shouldn't be proud of her, but last night I had a bit of a reminder that I shouldn't just be proud, I should be grateful for what a gift it is that she was able to be there with me. Yesterday a spaghetti dinner was held to raise money for a local family who is going through something nobody should have to face. Both of their sons, ages 5 and 2, have a rare genetic disorder called Late Infantile Batten Disease. This disease robs children of their physical abilities as well as their vision and causes heartbreaking debilitation. Life expectancy can be anywhere from 8-12 years of age.
My husband used to play baseball with their father, Chris. When the dads would play ball, our oldest daughter would run around and play with their older son, Drew. Drew can no longer walk. I know it sounds silly, but I felt guilty yesterday knowing that Presley had run the Great Race and here was this BEAUTIFUL little boy in a wheel chair. It doesn't make much sense. Their younger son hasn't started showing symptoms yet, but the tests indicated that eventually he will.
I've said this in the past, and I hope you guys will take this with you today. When you look at your child, or niece, or nephew or whatever special child is in your life, don't ask WHY you are so blessed, ask how you can help people who may be facing challenges with their own children. If you can help financially, great. If you help by adding this family to your prayers at dinner time or bedtime, great. Here is a link to the website. Please take some time to read about this family and the challenging road that lays ahead of them. http://www.gradysallstars.com/
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Elementary Open House
John, this one is for you!
Tuesday night was open house at our oldest daughter's school. She was so excited to show us her classroom, school work and for us to meet all of her new friends. The reality was we went to her class and then went to the cafetorium for cookies, at which time she met up with her friends and all interaction with us came to a screeching halt!
Ironically, I saw more that night than me or my daughter anticipated, and it had very little to do with her classroom.
My husband and I moved to this community three short years ago. When we moved here we only knew one family, and even that one we were still just getting to know. As I walked around the school it seemed I knew somebody at every turn. Not only did I know people, but A LOT of these people have become friends. These are people who in such a short time have come to care about our family and have built relationships with my children.
What an amazing gift it is to have these people in my life. You don't realize when you first meet a person how they will play a role in your life. Our daughter's baseball coach, her teacher from last year, fellow parents who I've connected with...all these people who have come into our life by chance, but whom we've become friends with by choice. It is an amazing thing. It is truly a blessing.
It is a special thing to know you have people looking out for your child and who care. I don't mean to downplay my family and the extended family I have in my close circle of friends. I am ALWAYS grateful for what they bring to my life. I'm talking about the support system we may not always realize is there, It is something I don't take for granted. Take some time today to think about the great, unexpected friends in your life, and then thank God for these blessings. They really are a gift He has given us.
A thought for the day:
"It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, impossible is not a word. It’s just a reason for someone not to try" - Kutless, What Faith Can Do
Tuesday night was open house at our oldest daughter's school. She was so excited to show us her classroom, school work and for us to meet all of her new friends. The reality was we went to her class and then went to the cafetorium for cookies, at which time she met up with her friends and all interaction with us came to a screeching halt!
Ironically, I saw more that night than me or my daughter anticipated, and it had very little to do with her classroom.
My husband and I moved to this community three short years ago. When we moved here we only knew one family, and even that one we were still just getting to know. As I walked around the school it seemed I knew somebody at every turn. Not only did I know people, but A LOT of these people have become friends. These are people who in such a short time have come to care about our family and have built relationships with my children.
What an amazing gift it is to have these people in my life. You don't realize when you first meet a person how they will play a role in your life. Our daughter's baseball coach, her teacher from last year, fellow parents who I've connected with...all these people who have come into our life by chance, but whom we've become friends with by choice. It is an amazing thing. It is truly a blessing.
It is a special thing to know you have people looking out for your child and who care. I don't mean to downplay my family and the extended family I have in my close circle of friends. I am ALWAYS grateful for what they bring to my life. I'm talking about the support system we may not always realize is there, It is something I don't take for granted. Take some time today to think about the great, unexpected friends in your life, and then thank God for these blessings. They really are a gift He has given us.
A thought for the day:
"It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, impossible is not a word. It’s just a reason for someone not to try" - Kutless, What Faith Can Do
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Find the Blessing in a Dirty Diaper
I can't even tell you how many diapers I change a day between my two little princes! I can tell you it is a lot. A rough estimate would be 12-15 a day. Maybe. That isn't my point. Other than groaning because my little poop factory produced another whopper for me to clean up, changing diapers doesn't stress me out. Every wet or dirty diaper isn't a reminder of what I don't have or struggle to provide for my family.
There are SO many families struggling to get by, and these families have just as many diapers to change as a family with a solid balance in their checking account. Imagine leaving your kiddo in a wet diaper because you can't afford to change it every time they go. Imagine letting a wet diaper dry out and putting it back on your child.
This next part I'm stealing from pittsburghmom.com to pass on to you!
"I recently found out that diapers and wipes are not covered public assistance, food stamps, WIC, etc. And that cost of diapers runs nearly $100 per month per child.
Did you know that 39% of kids in Pennsylvania are living in "low income" families? That means there are a LOT of moms out there that are struggling to afford diapers.
I am organizing a "Diaper Drive" for the month of September. We will be collecting diapers in conjunction with the Greater Pittsburgh Food Bank. Just like a food drive, a diaper drive will allow people to donate one diaper from their diaper bag or a whole pack and drop them off at various locations throughout the city."
This was started by my friend, former professor and advisor, Heather Starr Fiedler at Point Park University. It is over in a week and it would be great to see as many people donate to this great cause. You can drop off diapers at the following locations:
Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium
Pittsburgh Toy Lending Library
E2Toys 2 Try
BounceU
National Aviary
Children's Museum of Pittsburgh
or make a donation at www.pittsburghdiaperdrive.org.
Thanks a lot!
There are SO many families struggling to get by, and these families have just as many diapers to change as a family with a solid balance in their checking account. Imagine leaving your kiddo in a wet diaper because you can't afford to change it every time they go. Imagine letting a wet diaper dry out and putting it back on your child.
This next part I'm stealing from pittsburghmom.com to pass on to you!
"I recently found out that diapers and wipes are not covered public assistance, food stamps, WIC, etc. And that cost of diapers runs nearly $100 per month per child.
Did you know that 39% of kids in Pennsylvania are living in "low income" families? That means there are a LOT of moms out there that are struggling to afford diapers.
I am organizing a "Diaper Drive" for the month of September. We will be collecting diapers in conjunction with the Greater Pittsburgh Food Bank. Just like a food drive, a diaper drive will allow people to donate one diaper from their diaper bag or a whole pack and drop them off at various locations throughout the city."
This was started by my friend, former professor and advisor, Heather Starr Fiedler at Point Park University. It is over in a week and it would be great to see as many people donate to this great cause. You can drop off diapers at the following locations:
Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium
Pittsburgh Toy Lending Library
E2Toys 2 Try
BounceU
National Aviary
Children's Museum of Pittsburgh
or make a donation at www.pittsburghdiaperdrive.org.
Thanks a lot!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Strength To Carry On
Somebody in my life who I love very, very much is having a hard time right now. My heart breaks for him. I wish I could make him smile. I wish I could give him the biggest hug ever. I wish I could take his problem, lift the hurt from his heart, crumble it up and throw it away forever.
I am in a great place in my life right now, even with some uncertainties I'm facing. The truth is, I didn't take the easy road getting here. Before being married to my Prince Charming, I was married to a real jerk. It was brief, miserable, but I won't say it was a mistake. Nothing that led me to my current life could have been a mistake. I was lost for a while after it all happened, though. At the time, I was so deep in hurt and confusion that it was hard to see what direction my life was going.
The amazing thing was, even when I didn't know where I was going, God did. Through the support and encouragement of my family I went back to college, where I met the love of my life and my best friend. God blessed me with amazing people. People who couldn't fix my problems, but who helped hold me up until I was strong enough to stand on my own. People who steered me straight until the fog cleared enough for me to see the amazing road God had laid before me.
When our friends and family have hard times, we need to be there the best that we can. We need to offer them support and strength and love. We also need to recognize our limits. We can't fix the problems of other people. As much as we love them, as much as we want to carry their burdens, we can't. We have to trust that God is with them, carrying them through.
Here is a lasting thought or today!
"Tough times never last, but tough people do." - Robert Schuller
I am in a great place in my life right now, even with some uncertainties I'm facing. The truth is, I didn't take the easy road getting here. Before being married to my Prince Charming, I was married to a real jerk. It was brief, miserable, but I won't say it was a mistake. Nothing that led me to my current life could have been a mistake. I was lost for a while after it all happened, though. At the time, I was so deep in hurt and confusion that it was hard to see what direction my life was going.
The amazing thing was, even when I didn't know where I was going, God did. Through the support and encouragement of my family I went back to college, where I met the love of my life and my best friend. God blessed me with amazing people. People who couldn't fix my problems, but who helped hold me up until I was strong enough to stand on my own. People who steered me straight until the fog cleared enough for me to see the amazing road God had laid before me.
When our friends and family have hard times, we need to be there the best that we can. We need to offer them support and strength and love. We also need to recognize our limits. We can't fix the problems of other people. As much as we love them, as much as we want to carry their burdens, we can't. We have to trust that God is with them, carrying them through.
Here is a lasting thought or today!
"Tough times never last, but tough people do." - Robert Schuller
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Bumps and Bruises
Yesterday was one of those days I probably would have been better off had I just stayed in bed...or a padded room...I would have gone either way! My eye has been giving me a lot of problems, so I finally caved and made my first ever appointment with the eye doctor, only to be told he couldn't find the problem. REALLY? After shining a light that I'm pretty sure was as bright as the sun in my eyes for 35 minutes, putting 38 different kind of drops in my eyes (I may be exaggerating a bit with 38), and making me sit through all of your corny eye jokes, you can't FIND the problem. GRRRRR!
I walked out of the office and, thanks to my dilated pupils, I couldn't see anything but unbearable brightness. Thank God I had my sunglasses. I got home and let out the dogs (who may or may not have been possessed by the devil at the time) only to have one of them slam my knee into the doorway. OUCH!!! Instant bruise and major swelling. Wonderful. Thanks for that.
To keep with my great day, in all my genius, I full forced smacked my hand on the lip of the counter. I don't know the last time I cried that hard. (or swore that loud) I had shooting pains up my arm, and for the second time that day, major swelling. Seriously? Serious?
So at this point you are probably sick of my pity party and ready for the point. I guess the point is that as bad as yesterday was, it was yesterday. It was the past. This is a new day with new possibilities. Sure, I still have 2 bruises and an eye driving me insane, but they don't make up my whole. They are just little pieces that remind me of yesterday.
We all have some bumps and bruises life has left on our bodies and our hearts. Some are on our souls, and all we can do is pray the God helps us find healing for those. As for the bruises that don't fully fade in time, they are the reminders we need in our life of who we are, where we've been, and how we've gotten to where we are in our lives today.
Happy thought for today!
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
-Max Planck, Nobel Prize-winning physicist
I walked out of the office and, thanks to my dilated pupils, I couldn't see anything but unbearable brightness. Thank God I had my sunglasses. I got home and let out the dogs (who may or may not have been possessed by the devil at the time) only to have one of them slam my knee into the doorway. OUCH!!! Instant bruise and major swelling. Wonderful. Thanks for that.
To keep with my great day, in all my genius, I full forced smacked my hand on the lip of the counter. I don't know the last time I cried that hard. (or swore that loud) I had shooting pains up my arm, and for the second time that day, major swelling. Seriously? Serious?
So at this point you are probably sick of my pity party and ready for the point. I guess the point is that as bad as yesterday was, it was yesterday. It was the past. This is a new day with new possibilities. Sure, I still have 2 bruises and an eye driving me insane, but they don't make up my whole. They are just little pieces that remind me of yesterday.
We all have some bumps and bruises life has left on our bodies and our hearts. Some are on our souls, and all we can do is pray the God helps us find healing for those. As for the bruises that don't fully fade in time, they are the reminders we need in our life of who we are, where we've been, and how we've gotten to where we are in our lives today.
Happy thought for today!
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
-Max Planck, Nobel Prize-winning physicist
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Gated Houses, Open Hearts
A couple of days ago the kids and I jumped in the soccer-mom-mini van and headed out to fill up the gas tank then the grocery store to fill up the fridge. On our gas detour, we were stuck at a red light on a street we don't frequent. Next to the car was a large house with a gate in the drive way and a beware of dog sign. My oldest daughter, Presley, asked me why they had the gate and sign. I explained to her it was to keep unwanted people out. I explained that sometimes when people have a lot of nice things they need security.
Presley said to me, I bet you wish we had that house. I hesitated, and then began to explain how I feel. I don't wish that was my house. I am in a place in my life where I can in all honesty say I am completely happy with what I have. We have a house that while it may be overflowing with our endless amounts of junk, is also overflowing with love.
I told the kids that I have everything I could ask for, a husband and best friend who loves and respects me and four children who I love so much. My four-year-old daughter Elliot replied, "And your four kids love you so much." I wish there was a way to put the amazing way my heart filled when she said that. Someday, when they are parents, they will understand.
I don't spend my life pining for the material things some think will make thier lives complete. My life is complete at this very moment, and I believe it will only become more fulfilling to me as my family continues to grow in our love and appreciation of one another.
My happy thought for the day!
"Right now at this very moment we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness."
-Howard Cutler
Presley said to me, I bet you wish we had that house. I hesitated, and then began to explain how I feel. I don't wish that was my house. I am in a place in my life where I can in all honesty say I am completely happy with what I have. We have a house that while it may be overflowing with our endless amounts of junk, is also overflowing with love.
I told the kids that I have everything I could ask for, a husband and best friend who loves and respects me and four children who I love so much. My four-year-old daughter Elliot replied, "And your four kids love you so much." I wish there was a way to put the amazing way my heart filled when she said that. Someday, when they are parents, they will understand.
I don't spend my life pining for the material things some think will make thier lives complete. My life is complete at this very moment, and I believe it will only become more fulfilling to me as my family continues to grow in our love and appreciation of one another.
My happy thought for the day!
"Right now at this very moment we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness."
-Howard Cutler
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Revelation 21:4
REVELATION
God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through:
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love...
And God shall wipe away all tearsfrom their eyes.
Revelation 21:4
God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through:
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love...
And God shall wipe away all tearsfrom their eyes.
Revelation 21:4
Monday, August 24, 2009
Softscrub and Blind Faith
I was cleaning the kitchen yesterday and was in awe of how easily Softscrub was taking up the coffee stains and the fruit punch Kool-aid marks. (yes, I give my children Kool-aid, let the lashing begin) I couldn't help but think what it would be like to have Softscrub for our lives.
Imagine it, a simple answer that lifts our problems up and leaves it all smelling squeeky clean. I'm Catholic and believe in letting go and letting God, but I admit I'm not good at it. I have a hard time letting go of my anxiety and doing away with that sick feeling that has set up camp in my gut. Basically I don't mean the way God lifts up our problems, I mean goodbye, gone, you're on a rag in the washing machine kind of lifting up. Ya follow?
The reality is, even if we trust in God to carry us through our hard times, that doesn't mean we don't have to face them. We can't magically make everything okay. We can't take away a child's cancer, we can't mend a friend's broken heart, we can't offer financial security to a relative in the unemployment line. I guess all we can do is have that faith that God is with us as we face our problems, and look for Him in the faces of the people we love.
That is one of the great gifts we have in life, the blessing of friends and family. The hugs and encouragement, the kind words and prayers sent up to Heaven. I guess that is the silver linign in so many of life's problems, the realization of the people in our lives who will be there for us rain or shine. I have been blessed with so many of these people, and a day doesn't go by that I don't remember how lucky I am to have them.
Here's your positive thought for the day!
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown
Imagine it, a simple answer that lifts our problems up and leaves it all smelling squeeky clean. I'm Catholic and believe in letting go and letting God, but I admit I'm not good at it. I have a hard time letting go of my anxiety and doing away with that sick feeling that has set up camp in my gut. Basically I don't mean the way God lifts up our problems, I mean goodbye, gone, you're on a rag in the washing machine kind of lifting up. Ya follow?
The reality is, even if we trust in God to carry us through our hard times, that doesn't mean we don't have to face them. We can't magically make everything okay. We can't take away a child's cancer, we can't mend a friend's broken heart, we can't offer financial security to a relative in the unemployment line. I guess all we can do is have that faith that God is with us as we face our problems, and look for Him in the faces of the people we love.
That is one of the great gifts we have in life, the blessing of friends and family. The hugs and encouragement, the kind words and prayers sent up to Heaven. I guess that is the silver linign in so many of life's problems, the realization of the people in our lives who will be there for us rain or shine. I have been blessed with so many of these people, and a day doesn't go by that I don't remember how lucky I am to have them.
Here's your positive thought for the day!
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Taking the Blogging Plunge
Here I go, starting yet another blog in a cyberworld overrun with whiners, winners, psychos, pyscics and a million other things in between. I love to write but have avoided this medium to express the joys and woes I've faced. So what has brought me here today, turning to a computer screen and an infinate number of imaginary readers who I can pretend are intrigued by my not so glamorous, everyday life?
My family is facing a scary time that could really shake up our sense of security and displace us from our home sweet home. The thought of it sickens me and brings up the kind of anxiety I haven't faced in years. I decided this would be a great way to focus that energy, to express my feelings and maybe gain some encouragement.
The thing is, I like to belive I'm a pretty positive person. I want to believe this will turn out for the better. I want to believe the good guy wins. I want to believe in my happily ever after. Those happily ever afters happen. They do. So this is my plan. To stay positive I am going to come on here, vent the negatives and share with you the silver lining I find in the hurdles I face in my life. I hope I can help just one person learn to do the same.
Bare with me, I am new to this. Here is my happy thought I will leave you with tonight...
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
My family is facing a scary time that could really shake up our sense of security and displace us from our home sweet home. The thought of it sickens me and brings up the kind of anxiety I haven't faced in years. I decided this would be a great way to focus that energy, to express my feelings and maybe gain some encouragement.
The thing is, I like to belive I'm a pretty positive person. I want to believe this will turn out for the better. I want to believe the good guy wins. I want to believe in my happily ever after. Those happily ever afters happen. They do. So this is my plan. To stay positive I am going to come on here, vent the negatives and share with you the silver lining I find in the hurdles I face in my life. I hope I can help just one person learn to do the same.
Bare with me, I am new to this. Here is my happy thought I will leave you with tonight...
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
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