Judgement Day

I've slowly been reading the book, The Shack. It is a great book, but I like it in small doses because I need time to stop and reflect on what I've read. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the premise is a man named Mack gets to spend a weekend in a cabin with God in an effort to come to terms with a terrible loss in his life. The chapter I read today was about the judgement we pass on ourselves, others and even on God.

This really got me thinking about myself and the judgements I make and how I justify doing this. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around throwing rocks at people I don't feel are up to my standards. I know I am guilty of throwing the proverbial first stone before, though. A mom who seems neglectful, a wife having an affair, a husband who is controlling...why do I feel it is my place to judge these people. It makes me wonder what judgements people make about me?

I was at the tailor today to have alterations done on my daughter's dress. The tailor asked how many kids I have and I told him four, to which he replied, "You're too young to have that many kids." It wasn't meant as a compliment, or at least that isn't the way it seemed to me. To me it felt like a judgement. In his defense, I do look younger than I am. (If you disagree with my last statement, keep it to yourself!!!)

On Saturday I had a flat tire and was late for a soccer game. I had all four kids in the van and my husband was out of town. When my daughter asked me for the umpteenth time how I was going to fix it, I snapped and yelled at her to sit down and don't talk till I tell her she could. No, I'm not proud of it and I apologized. At the same time I was yelling, my neighbor's friend was getting out of his car and looked at me like I had just beat my little one. He doesn't know me, and how easy it is to pass judgement based on that one impression. To him I probably looked like a clueless mom who doesn't appreciate the blessing my kids are. In reality, I like to believe I am a pretty good mom, and most of the time pretty patient. (Once again folks, if you disagree...well, you know the drill.)

I'm not perfect, and know that while it is easy to sit at a keyboard and say I am cured from one chapter in one book and I'm never going to judge anyone again, I know that isn't the reality. I just hope to be more aware of unfair judgement I may pass on others, and be forgiving of those who seem to judge me.

Here is a great quote I found that really got me thinking!!!


"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa

The Quicker Picker Upper

Breath in...now out.

Let's see if I can collect my thoughts and emotions long enough to write a long overdue post! I wish I could report everything has been so wonderful that I haven't needed to write and find my "ah ha moments" on here, but sadly I have just been crazy busy and uninspired.

I took a blow yesterday with my original issue that brought me here to share and seek some sunshine, and haven't been able to shake that gray cloud that seems to be hovering above me since. No need for concerned emails and phone calls...I'm fine and will continue to be fine because I haven't lost sight of the blessings in my life. Being fine, though, doesn't mean I can't have moments of self pity and frustration.

We all know the way it goes, though. You feel down about one thing and everything else just starts going wrong. You get stuck behind a dump truck while rushing to pick your daughter up from preschool. (Sorry Ellsie Bells) Your 2-year-old finds your wallet and dumps it, leaving you scrambling to gather up the change before the baby eats it. (I made it just in time to pull the quarter from his little mouth) The dog runs in before you have time to clean off her mud covered paws, leaving wonderful little prints all through the kitchen.

And then, the pièce de résistance, I open the fridge to get out the milk to finish the macaroni and cheese for the three kids in the next room screaming for food like they had NEVER eaten, only for the 2-quart pitcher of Kool Aid to fall, soaking my jeans and sending a tidal wave of purple sweetness across the tile floor. In case the mess wasn't enough, the kiddies came running into the kitchen to see why mommy was screaming, stepping in the mess and spreading it further.

Back to breath in...now out.

I actually remained pretty calm, returned the kids to the family room and flipped on Ratatouille to distract them. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and began to soak it up, rushing to the grape flavored river about to travel under the fridge. As I tore square after square and watched as it soaked up my spill, I began to fantasize about mega paper towels that can soak up life's problems. Sure, these little squares are great for Kool-Aid and milk, but imagine such a simple fix for those curve balls life throws our way that we can't simply wipe away.

I guess in some way we do have that. It just isn't packaged and sold at Giant Eagle or Krogers. I guess when we have those gray clouds we need to look to the people in our lives to be our sunshine. We have to let the hugs that cover us from our kids, or spouses, or friends absorb our hurt and frustration. No, our problems won't just go away when we embrace the people we love, but sometime it makes the hurt hurt a little bit less, it makes the sadness a little easier to bare, and it reminds us that while love doesn't cure what ails us, it can carry us through till we're all better.

Now to make more Kool-aid and empty the trash can full of soaked paper towels. Thank you, Bounty!!!