Just One More Baby?

I've started to realize through talking to a number of my friends, those of us in our mid to late thirties have more in common than a love for yoga pants and wine. It seems a large number of us suffer from "am-I-really-done-syndrome."

There is a very loud, clanging biological clock that we all realize is nearing it's final rotation. Soon no watch battery, no winding of the key will buy us more time. So we look at our one, three, five children, and wonder, am I really done? Do I really not get to do this again?

Moms may take to Facebook to moan about the midnight puking that required laundry at an unthinkable hour, or groan about the teething baby that kept us up all night. We may run to Mad Mex as quickly as possible on Friday evening to sip margaritas and try to forget about the huge blow up with our daughters over cleaning their bedrooms. We may sometimes act like we don't cherish every little mommy moment we have.

The truth is, there isn't one second of it we would trade. And the thought of "the last diaper" we change, "the last soothing lullaby" we sing, "the last anything," makes us think that maybe we should have "just one more."

I was giving my four-month-old a bath last week and my nine-year-old daughter, Elliot was helping me. Keil, the baby, was splashing away and giggling. I sadly said to Elliot, "I can't believe I won't ever get to do this again."

In her sweet and innocent wisdom Elliot replied, "Yes, Mom, but you get to do it now."

Wow.

Yes, I get to do it now. I have the option of focussing on the fact that I will never have a four-month-old again, or I can focus on all the joy the moment is giving me. I can be sad, or I can choose to be glad and celebrate the largest and smallest milestones, even if it is the last time I will experience it as a mom.

There is nothing I love more in life than being a mom, and I will remember my daughter's words every time I lose focus of the moment I am in. I think that is the only cure for "am-I-really-done-syndrome."

And, the reality is, I am not really done. I have the rest of my life to be a mom...maybe not to a new baby, but to the beautiful children I have already been blessed with.