Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Some Sunshine Peeking Through

Yesterday morning I had to go to my brother's house to find his suit to take to the dry cleaners. It might sound like an ordinary chore, but when the suit needs cleaned so he can bury his 30-year-old wife, there is nothing ordinary or okay about it. It isn't something a 27-year-old should have to face after only 2 1/2 years of marriage. It isn't fair and it really, really pisses me off. Really.

It pisses me off because they still had plans they never got to, dreams they hadn't realized and a lot of love still to share. They never even got to live in their own house together. My brother had been fixing it up to make it the home they envisioned. It is amazing how loud the quiet was as I walked through the rooms looking for his suit yesterday.

She was in a lot pain before she passed away, and I am grateful that her pain is over, but that is the only positive thing I can find in this tragedy. It hurts to see the amount of pain in my brother's eyes and know there is nothing I can do to take that suffering away. I can't make it better, but I know eventually the hurting will change for him, not go away, but change and he'll be able to see some good and some happiness again.

As I was driving to his house yesterday, there was a very ominous grey cloud straight ahead. I couldn't help but notice the contrast of the the stormy sky ahead of me and the blue skies and sunshine in my rear view mirror. It reminded me that the grey clouds always get blown away eventually, and we can always look forward to the sunshine that will find its way through. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but the day will come when the sunshine will warm my brother's face and heart again.

I know my brother has a very special angel watching over him, but please keep him in your prayers as well.


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